“…a state of tension that occurs when a person holds two cognitions (ideas, attitudes, beliefs, opinions) that are psychologically inconsistent with each other,” Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart.
Better explained, as a smoker (or any other vice), s/he knows it is not healthy for them, but continues to smoke convincing his/herself that it isn’t really harmful—that the need to smoke in order to calm down (build confidence, look cool, etc.) is more important than the health risk. Brene says in moments of dissonance we need to resist comfort over courage.
Lack of agreement. The dissonance between the truth and what people want to believe especially : inconsistency between the beliefs one holds or between one’s actions and one’s beliefs
merriam-webster.com
Sometimes the threat (what the doctor says every time you see him/her), isn’t as scary unless you have seen the end result yourself.
For me, I ate/eat for comfort and happiness. I typically reach for sugar or carbs. My sugar levels were increasing with each completed bloodwork. As each day passed, I didn’t feel anything but good from eating desserts and pasta—thinking my body is immune to it, even though the levels continued to increase. It wasn’t until my doctor said we’ll have to address the sugar if I come back in the next six months with the existing level.
The thought of diabetes didn’t scare me, but watching what it did to my mother did. I took my doctor’s advice and lost 40 pounds by eating right and exercising. I actually held the weight loss for two years…and then things began to get really hard again. That habit I had thought was long gone showed up again. Today, I’ve put on 20 of those 40 pounds and am struggling (but surviving) with having a dependency on food for happiness. If only life were easy and fun.
Image by Molly Wong from Pixabay
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Life In bytes 
I believe that pain is the only way we’ll grow. You wouldn’t have taken action had you not seen what happened to your mother. And no matter how painful things can be at the moment, just know that you did it once before.
I totally get how you feel though. My vice is procrastination. I know I’m throwing my life into the gutter, but I can’t seem to stop wasting all that time away. Here’s to us finding our way!
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